​Anjali Phadke's P​ortfolio

At the Dayton Regional STEM School, growth is happening every single day. People are learning new topics, making mistakes, fixing those mistakes, and eventually growing as a person. As every student knows, growth is inevitable. As one of those students, I am proud to say that I have grown in Language Arts. I have grown in the skill of revision. As an introductory to the process, revising work basically means to make it better than it was before. Revision can be as personal as you want it to be. Ultimately, you are trying to beat your best score. Revising can be fun, but it can also be painstaking work.

 

Revision used to be, spell check your work and you are done! This year in 9th grade Language Arts, that has proven to be wrong. This year, our teacher has shown our class a whole new way to think about revising. When I revised my work before, I usually didn’t know where to start. The new process that our teacher has shown us (The Seven-Step Revision Process) is organized so that confused students know what to do.

 

Revision in text maybe different to revising let’s say in Art. Because the topics are of two completely different mediums, the revision for the assignments maybe a little different. But, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they aren’t a little bit similar. The main topics of content and style may still be important. Regarding content, there is still a tone and a mood in Art. If you didn’t achieve the tone you wanted, you can revise it. Regarding the topic style, there might not be any vocabulary, but art can still create a vivid image in a person’s head. If you feel like you didn’t create the vivid image, you can revise it.  Besides Art, you can really use these seven steps in any class. Because we can write in any class, we can revise in any class.

 

The Seven- Step Revision Process can be a lot of work. But, I was glad that I went through the process. To start off, there are three main levels. The first level or Level One has 3 steps. These three steps are Revision for Content, Revision for Style, and Record/Listen- Read/Revise. In step one Revision for Content, there were a few questions that could help if people were confused. One main question was “Have you established a purpose or tone?” This was a main step because if I did not have a purpose or a tone, then some people could have been confused with the text that I was writing. Step one also talked about the thoroughness of the text and the organization of the text. Step 3 (revision for style) had a lot to do with the vocabulary of the text.  That last step in the first level is probably the best technique I have come across to help with wording. Basically, I recorded myself reading the text I wanted to revise. Then, I replayed that same recording and read my text along with it. It really astonished me how many errors I found while using this method. It really helped to read long with the recording because listening to the story helped me find those awkward words that you wouldn’t usually find by just reading the story. The next level is Level Two. Level Two only had 2 steps, but these steps were vital. Level Two was all about grammar and sentence structure. Step 4, Revision for Grammar, talked about spelling, spelling out numbers below 10, and using correct verb tense and the correct forms of verbs. Step 5 was all about sentence structure. In essays for example, sentence variety is necessary. Using one type of sentence can make the essay choppy and uninteresting to read. So, using different types of sentences like complex or compound are key. Now the third and last level of revision is used. The Third Level of Revision has two steps, and these steps are the final pieces to the puzzle. Level Three is basically the proofreading level. In this level, we spell check our work, and take one final look at it before we send it off, out in the world, all alone. Using this process, I have grown in the skill of revising.

 

One example of an endeavor that I have used revision in is my Analytical Essay. The overall goal of this assignment was to read a story and fully understand the meaning of that specific story. Then, we were to write an essay based on the story we picked. The overall purpose of this assignment was to be able to fully understand all the words, all the meanings, and understand the symbolism in the story, if there was any. Also, the essay aspect of this assignment allowed us as students to create words based on the thoughts we were having. Basically, we read 4 stories, picked a story to write about, and wrote an essay! (Unfortunately, it wasn’t as simple as that). At the beginning of this process, we started our claim/ thesis statements. These statements included the 2 subtopics we were talking about in our essay and what they describe. For example my claim was “McNabb uses symbolism and descriptive language to describe military life, after military personnel come home.” Now, this claim wasn’t always perfect from the start. I went through tons of revisions to get it where it is now. This is where the growth comes in. Instead of spell checking my claim and sending it off, I used the Seven- Step Revision Process to my benefit. Now, I used the process, but not every single step. The main steps that I used were one and three. As I said before, Revision for content (aka step one) talked about the purpose and tone of the text and the organization of the text. At the beginning of this assignment, I had some troubles regarding what my subtopics were going to be. My original claim was “In "Zombie March" by Brynn MacNabb, McNabb uses inanimate objects and descriptive language to symbolize military life for the two perspectives in this story.” Compared to my final claim, there are some major differences. One being that the purpose and the content of the claims are almost completely different. I believe that without this process, I wouldn’t have caught that the claim didn’t make sense originally. Without this process, I also wouldn’t have known where to starts or even how to revise in those specific categories! This is a good example of my growth in revision because it was the first main assignment that had to do with writing. Also, this assignment came right after we got introduced to the Seven- Step Revision Process, so it was the first time we really got to practice the new skill of revision. So, overall, I have grown in being able to revise.

 

My second endeavor that relates to my growth in revision, is my flash fiction story. As we all know, a good story worth reading will have a solid beginning, middle, and end. But, that doesn't necessarily mean that the story is amazing just because it has those 3 things. One misconception of a flash fiction story is that it is the same as a short story. A short story could be several pages, while a flash fiction story is even shorter than that. A good flash fiction story will include a beginning, middle, and end, but, it will also include a solid problem and solution to that problem. One of our requirements was that the story had to have a resolution. This story couldn’t be a story that ends with "it was all a dream" or "we may never know" or anything along the lines of that. Also, this story is obviously fiction. This story had to be made up. But, symbolism could be a thing to add in the story. Since this story is fiction, adding a little symbolism to the piece allows the writer to talk about real world problems, but not directly talking about them. It's basically like a loophole. Adding symbolism can make a flash fiction piece, a little more interesting. My flash fiction story was 1000 words. Now, my original first draft only had 651 words. Where did those 349 extra words come from? Those words came from a series of revisions. My first step in this assignment was actually writing the first draft. After writing this draft, I found a few errors in the plot of the story. For example, my story is about a girl named Tamara Hamilton. She gets drugged, and she finds out that the other character Gavin, drugged her. Now, my first question was “Why would she get drugged?” I soon found out that a lot of the story didn’t make sense without an intro or a suggestion to why she was drugged. The revision process helped in this mostly because of one question. The question is “Have you been thorough in your explanations? (Don’t leave out information with the assumption that your audience knows what you’re talking about.)” Because of this question, I was able to revise a lot of my story for content. Now I grew in revision. Because of the lack of detail in my story, I was able to use the skill I had just learned to ultimately add more detail or make the story more understandable. Now that is my definition of revision. My definition is making the old better so that it can turn into a new. What I mean by this is, that changing something old (making it better) makes it into a new. This is good example of revision because it was the second major writing assignment we had in the year. This was basically the only other writing assignment we had to practice the revision process on. Even though it was the only other assignment, it was still crucial in my growth because, it was burned into my head. What I mean by this is that by learning this process of revision, I found myself automatically revising for things like content and style. I grew because I learned a new skill, and practiced it multiple times so that I can now automatically look for areas to revise.

 

There are many implications to this skill. Let’s face it. When I go to college, my professors will not care whether I revised, or whether I grew. They only care about the final grades. So, starting this process early, and burning the skill into my head, will help me automatically revise my work later on in college. Also, as I get through high school and into college, there will probably be many more essays including the college application essay. I need to be able to learn how to write professionally. I also need to be able to write with sentence variety, with a sophisticated vocabulary, and a clear purpose and tone. This process will ultimately help me create better text, because of the knowledge I have in my brain. Like I said before, there are many implications from revision.

 

To finish off, I will never be perfect at revisions. That is a fact. As I grow older, and get more challenging assignments, I may learn how to become a better reviser. Also, every assignment is different, so I may go about this process differently regarding the type of assignment I am working on. For example, I may not know exactly how to revise in Art class using this process, but when I get an assignment that I need to revise, I will learn, and I will get better. Basically, I will always be able to revise my revision skills, and that is what excites me. I will always be able to learn more, and grow.